You don't mind sticking your tongue into the abdominal cavity of a bug and sucking out juices, but eating rutabaga repulses you.
You'll glop up handfuls of entrails from deer, ducks and fish, but changing a dirty diaper makes you nauseous
Your mother keeps a key to your apartment.
You still write NOPSI on your utility bill.
You call public transportation a NOPSI bus.
Your first meal after childbirth is a cold beer (WOMEN ONLY)
You never ask a lawyer what school he went to because you assume he went to Jesuit and don't care where he went to college.
Softball is more important than your marriage...at least on game days.
You gave $5,000 to re-elect a politician you don't like.
You wash your clothes at your mama's.
You can navigate miles of marsh in the dark but can't find the sink to put your dirty dishes.
You have a mirliton vine in your yard even though you don't really like mirliton.
You get your tomato stakes from political signs on the neutral ground.
You still won't shop at Dillard's because they bought out Holmes'es.
You swim in Lake Pontchartrain, but not after a thunderstorm.
You don't pay for Jazz Fest tickets or speeding tickets.
Your wife won't undress in front of you but she'll show her tits to a thousand people during Mardi Gras.
You don't make your fishing camp too nice so your wife won't come on weekends.
You order Rocky and Carlo's macaroni with both brown and red gravy.
You know the difference between a good snowball and a mediocre snowball.
You drink beer for breakfast at Gulf Shores.
"They" will let you ride in Rex (gotta bleed blue too).
During teen years, you never dated someone from the other side of Canal Street.
You put hot sauce on anything that's not dessert.
Your parents live in Metairie (whites only).
You occasionally wear white socks around the living room to see how bad the fleas are getting.
You aren't puzzled by Bunny Matthews cartoons
Your father has more than two Igloo ice chests.
You were taught by nuns and actually liked a few.
You're still afraid to let the host touch the roof of your mouth.
There is no more grievous offense than not attending a family reunion.
Your cat mistook your pet alligator for a lizard and ate it (okay, maybe that's just me, but I never forgave the furry lil bastard)
You don't think tunafish is seafood.
Your grandma thinks the greatest people that ever lived were Chep Morrison, Hale Boggs, Pope John XXIII and Morten Andersen. Your mother would add Angela Hill to the list.
You put powdered sugar on fried eggplant.
You think it's okay to have drive-thru daquiri/liquor places (until your kids are teenagers).
You live to eat, not eat to live.
The first day of shrimp season and duck season are never work days.
You believe everything edible can be battered and fried.
You'd rather enjoy life and die earlier.
There is at least one Schwegmann bag of Mardi Gras beads in your attic for when you ride in a parade.
You enjoy having picnics in cemeteries.
A good Mardi Gras costume is more important than a wedding dress.
You can't balance a checkbook but can figure high and low tides for latitudes and longitudes anywhere on the planet.
You know when to walk one block over.
You know the lyrics to the Seafood City, Ponchartrain Beach and Rosenberg's jingles.
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